Stepping into a new year is so much more than unrealistic new years resolutions and unachievable goals which in fact veil a lot of our underlying self hatred. It’s a time which if you are going to do one thing, make it an act of self love, and then do that act of self love, all year round. When you say ‘self love’ to most people, it conjures up images of selfishness, of egotism, when in fact, we love others so much better, and receive love so much more openly, when we start to love ourselves. How can you begin to love others when you don’t even love yourself? How can you receive love when you don’t feel you are even worthy of loving?
It’s a huge issue which can get confusing so here are five ways you can start by loving yourself right now:
Learn to say no: When the pain of saying yes outweighs the awkwardness of saying no, it’s time to reach for the two letter word. We all too often want to say yes, to please others, but at what cost? However small the request, whether it’s going to the mall on the weekend which you despise (this is really me talking here) or doing something big like lending money, it’s ALWAYS ok to say no.
Trust your gut: If something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t. It’s not just ‘magical’ people who are blessed with intuition. It’s inside all of us. Gut instinct, intuition, it’s all the same. It’s there if we choose to hear it.
Do something which is ONLY for you. This goes out to mummies especially. When was the last time you did something for yourself? Take some time out to have a massage, go for that walk in the park, sign up for a course, go to that yoga class? Because there’s always something in the way? Childcare? Time? Money? Believe me when I say that even if it’s an hour a week, those around you will get a much better version of you when you gift yourself something.
Stop with the acts of self punishment which come from self loathing: When you go to the gym, are you really there because you love it, or are you there because you’re punishing yourself for the food you ate, for the fact you haven’t been for two weeks? Anything we do which comes from a place of self loathing, only reinforces those feelings, so maybe it’s time to explore the motivation and intention with which we go into things.
Let go of what doesn’t serve you: Heard this before? Whether it’s that job which makes you depressed, the relationship which isn’t making you happy, or the friend who simply makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s ok to let things go. It’s true that when we close one door, we give permission to the Universe to open another. It’s only by closing something, that we allow space for new to enter. So think about what is weighing you down the most, and let it go. Maybe that means getting help, so reach out, ask for help, see a counselor, ask a friend, hell, ask ALL your friends. Nobody achieved any act of greatness alone so never be afraid to seek help and fulfill your own inner greatness.
And that’s all I have for you today, guys. I hope there’s at least one small nugget in here which resonates. Sometimes that one nugget is all it takes to change our little worlds.
With love, M x